we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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