He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
