it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
