shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
