Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
