They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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