so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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