I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
