Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
