Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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