I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
