We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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