Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Randomize
