I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
