I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
