forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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