when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I could make wine with my vomit
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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