just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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