omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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