i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
