bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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