Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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