He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
