Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
