I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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