P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
