If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
