do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
