please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I fill condoms, not promises.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wow bdsm is so cute
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
