I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
