Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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