I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
