Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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