on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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