it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
