why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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