shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
