it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
