You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
