I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
