we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
