wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
