Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
