i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
