we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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