we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
ok first of all what the fuck
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
