My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
