I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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