If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
