This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
