omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
