North Korea, Best Korea!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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